Talking About People In Chats
What if people were reading what you wrote about them?
Hi y’all,
A couple of things have happened that made me want to write about this topic. Sometimes we don’t always realize what we’re doing. In the scriptures, Jesus and Stephen both prayed to God, “Forgive them Father…” They prayed this prayer about the people who were actively killing them for real. Their reason for asking this was that the people murdering them did not know what they were doing. They weren’t aware. Jesus and Stephen didn’t want their actions to be counted against them.
That was very loving. I don’t know how many people would do that. It’s an example of forgiveness that I want to model. Here’s the situation. There is a girl I work with. She does client service. I don’t deal with her much. Apparently, she can be in the habit of saying negative things about people, her job, and things going on. She does this in chats with people in the company. Twice now, she has been on screen shares with clients and they have seen what she has written about them in chats and it wasn’t very nice.
The second time happened today. A colleague of mine took care of it with the client as he did the last time this happened. I told her in a chat that she should say nice things about people behind their back. She said she is nice and she does say good things about people and she was just giggling about requests she was getting. She admitted it was a huge mistake. She went on to tell me that she usually says,”If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” She also told me she doesn’t gossip or anything.
Here is the issue. Knowing what to do and saying what to do doesn’t mean much if you don’t actually do what you know you should do. What is worse is when someone doesn’t know the difference. She doesn’t think she is gossiping when she is gossiping. I’m not her boss so I’m not the one to deal with her about it. But it made me think about how easy it is to form a habit we may not know we have. She thinks she is a nice person. Most people probably do think they are nice and don’t realize it if they aren’t being nice.
I was listening to a personal development speaker talking about how people think. When someone is focused on themselves and what they want and what they get, they usually aren’t very helpful or nice to other people. They’re too wrapped up in their agenda. On the other hand, when someone is focused on how they can be helpful to another person, they are kind, generous, helpful, and a lot more successful in their lives. They are more positive and upbeat in their thinking about things.
What really hit my heart with this is that I truly like the clients involved here. They are very smart, kind, thoughtful people. They are working hard in their businesses and depend on the people they have hired to take care of what they need. They aren’t paying a company to be complained about or mocked or spoken to in an unflattering light behind their backs. The other side of what hits my heart is that this girl, who has done this twice, can be wonderful and really awesome to work with.
There was a lady I was talking to one time years ago about a situation that I was really struggling with. She patiently listened to me explain what was going on and my dilemma that I wasn’t sure how to handle. She looked at me and smiled. She said that sometimes relationships are like scrambled eggs. We can’t separate the white from the yolk. So we may not know how to make sense of things that clearly when everything is mixed together. And then she said, “But God knows and He sees everything clearly.”
People remember how we make them feel. I want to make people feel really great. I want to encourage people and help them achieve their goals. I want to share information that will make a difference in people’s lives and celebrate their accomplishments with them. Our words are powerful. What we think and say does have an impact on our own lives and the lives of others. It’s good to keep in mind what it would be like if someone was listening to what you said about them before you talk about them.
Until next time….Say nice things about people behind their backs.
Best,
Laura
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Laura Burton
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